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✦ Welcome, traveler ✦ The vortex has been expecting you ✦ New: VHS Future Reports now materializing ✦ For entertainment purposes only ✦

Madam Vortex
$24.94

Curse Removal Ceremony

Minor hexes lifted while you wait.

Suffering from The Tuesday Fog? The Misplaced Keys Hex? Complete our interactive multi-step ceremony and Madam Vortex will lift the nuisance-curse personally — certificate of cleansing included, suitable for framing.

  • Interactive multi-step ceremony
  • Personalized curse diagnosis
  • Ornate completion certificate
  • One silly protective habit prescribed

Feed the vortex your details

Lost keys? Fog on Tuesdays? Socks vanishing? The vortex handles minor hexes only.

The Ceremony — three steps

Step 2 — Press and hold the sigil for 3 seconds

The sigil waits.

Secure payment by Stripe. Your reading generates automatically after checkout.

For entertainment purposes only. Readings are AI-assisted fiction, delivered on-site, by email, and as a collectible PDF.